Steve Dugas ranks the league for Week 11 of the 2013 season, with movement, records, statistics, and his candid weekly analysis.
"Stacey, AJ is firing on all cylinders. The Chickens are back. Take the baby, I am heading out for the night to celebrate."
"Well Annie, as long as Demaryius Thomas doesn't score 3 touchdowns, I will win."
"Hi there, have you met my friend Peyton Manning?"
"Not sure how to tell you this honey, but the Dragons only scored 19 points this week. I'll go sleep on the couch again."
"It's all good baby, I've got a guy named Hauschka on my team."
"Steven, the only way the Merry Men will win is if Demaryius Thomas scores three TDs, so turn the TV off and come have dinner with the rest of us."
"Look on the bright side, I remembered to enter my lineup this week and no one got hurt. What? Seneca Wallace got hurt? That is unbelievable. I didn't even know he was on my team."
"What? Now you are telling me the Tangs played badly as well? Get out and don't come back until you can field a 30 point team."
"Don't worry [insert Chris' wife's name here], I've got Lamar Miller and Mike James going tonight."
"When we said 'I do' Lizabeth, it means you married the Eaters as well. Wait, where are you going?"
"Tough day at work Becky...spent most of the afternoon trying to figure out how to bench Calvin Johnson to secure that Stupor Bowl spot."
"Is more than 12 points too much to ask for from my QB? Is it??"
"Becca, you have the nerve to ask me what have I accomplished with the Llamas in the past few years? First word: Consistency, Second word: America. Third word: Diversonification."
"If I can score 24 points without Gronk, the Refugees' possibilities are endless."
"I don't know what to say hon, sometimes these things happen...every once in a while the Beans will win a game."
"Not to worry Marcy, Foster will be back next year and he should score more than 36 points this time around."