Q&A with Kurt Willette

Nick Wood, Backyard Sports Icon

August 03, 2012

The spreading rumor of the possible addition of Kurt Willette as a GM for one of Chris Davidson's teams is a rumor no longer! The Apple Eaters are now controlled by GM Kurt Willette.

Much like Steve has tried to get people to understand his desire to be a stay-at-home dad is his way of realizing "these are changing times and we need to change with time", the YFFL is beginning to understand that giving control of one of your teams to a dedicated GM is both improving the team and improving the league. Chris Davidson has made that difficult decision and the league is both excited for the change and appreciative of his sacrifice.

Knowing this, we think it is best to learn as much about this new GM as possible. Kurt brings his fantasy insight and experience that is well known by a few of the league's participants and it is time it is known by the league as a whole. To accomplish this goal, I thought it best to sit down with Kurt and learn a little more about him and what he'll bring to the league.

Kurt, welcome and thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to speak with us.

Greetings, Nick.

First off, let me just preface my answers by saying it's an absolute honor to be an addition into a league with a sterling reputation like that of the YFFL. As a kid, you always dream about being asked to participate in the YFFL, but to actually to see your dream come to fruition is a "pinch me" moment.

Chris and Kurt Chris and Kurt discuss 2nd Round draft strategy

We know Chris is an extremely knowledgeable fantasy football guru, but his YFFL participation has declined in recent years. Do you understand why? Chris' decision to take you aboard shows he is aware that this league is evolving and is willing to do what it takes to win. Do you agree?

Nick, this is an excellent question. Chris' fantasy prowess is no secret to anyone. His performance historically speaks for itself and he deserves the respect he commands for his past accomplishments. Although I can't answer the "why" behind his recent decline, I can say that the game changes and with that, so does the approach. Chris has a lot on his plate managing multiple teams along with a burgeoning relationship with a young girl who I believe may have been a recent graduate at his elementary school.

Please explain what you will bring to the league as an active participant, providing examples whenever possible.

I like to manage by being an active participant. I would be highly visible to the team and the league, demonstrating active engagement and enthusiasm unseen since Pee-Wee Herman's ascension in the 80's. I would like to point to my previous successes as a wiffle ball organizer on the mean streets of Roxbury. Despite rampant gang violence in the area and a pile of used condoms and broken glass on the field, my contributions and organizational skills led to weekly games. We had to cancel the league unfortunately though when Tim Blount contracted an STD while sliding into 3rd base only to get tangled up in a conglomerate of warm rubber and stale spunk.

The name of the team you'll be in charge of is the Apple Eaters. Would you suggest to the owner changing the name of the team? If so, what would you choose to rename the franchise?

I think anyone who has played fantasy football with me before knows I am loyal to the team name Touchdown Boobies. Provided this would be acceptable with the league, I would lobby for this team name. My backup team name would be team Poop Deck.

Let's say the Apple Eaters performance struggles, how would this impact your well documented "bromance" with Chris off the field?

I pride myself in being a below average friend and lover. I figure if those who care about you expect little, then the things you do bring to the table stand out as an appreciated gesture when to the normal person it seems like an expected and reciprocal courtesy. As a result, I would not expect our well-chronicled bromance to suffer - when you live with someone as long as Chris and I have, you learn coping mechanisms when faced with adversity. For example, Chris locks himself in his room and throws *NSYNC on repeat and practices choreographed dance moves for his battle dancing crew called the "Park Street Bible Bumpers". They compete in the highly competitive Church Circuit known for its sportsmanship but overly suggestive dancing. One commentator said it was like a room full of gyrating hips and promise rings.

Tim Blount With Kurt as the GM, a uniform deal with teetastic! shouldn't be too far behind

Will your past association with multiple Blounts impact your ability to gain the respect of the league?

Much like Sinatra's association with the mob, I have a history of hanging out with an unsavory family as well. Is it easy to call the Blounts friends knowing their transgressions? Of course not, I cringe to have been a witness to Pat grabbing a girls beev right in front of her boyfriend while he was wearing his DZ NUTS license plate. Then there's my annual ski trip with Bill where I have to witness a father-son reversal in which Tim is entrusted with the responsibility of making sure Bill doesn't get us kicked out of local eateries and our lodging. However, I would like to point out to the league that I had nothing to do with any of the crimes perpetrated by this legendary Yarmouth crime family, nor do I condone them.

It is a given that to be part of this league, you must be willing and able to make fun of Steve Dugas in the forum or through an article on the website. Please give us an example of how you'd do this.

Steve is a great guy and I know him best from his single days hanging out at the Junipers with Bri Davidson, Chris DiRobbio, Bobby Sansone and countless high school girls. I would probably stick to what I know and reference a hilarious anecdote and incorporate it into the league conversation.

Making fun of Steve is a relatively easy task; he infrequently retaliates and when he does, it does not pack much of a punch. Please show us how talented a participant you'd be by making fun of Mike Kinsman.

Mike Kinsman is a harder target, as you note. I mean, I just don't know how to insult a guy who's gone through more condoms then the 2012 Olympics. Next question, please.

Only a few have seen much of Chris in recent years, so the on-goings of his life are relatively unknown by many. Is Chris really the oldest kid/person to still play on the McDonald's playgrounds?

Grimace "Show me on the toy where Chris touched you."

Unfortunately, Chris is no longer welcome on the McDonald's playgrounds. After a poor performance in Wii Sports Resort 2 in which he lost a tournament on his favorite competition, the 3-point Shootout, he went to a dark place, consuming an unhealthy amount of fuzzy navels. He was found 3 hours later incoherent and in his boxers trying to coax a plastic Grimace into fisticuffs. As a result he is not allowed 300 feet within a McDonald's playground until 2014.

How do your rap freestyle skills influence your team building philosophy?

Most people draft on value and look at upside and downside of any given player. I do this as well, but also have a 3rd category for rhyme-ability in a player's last name. That's why you'll never see me draft a guy like Roethlisberger...I mean, WTF? What am I supposed to do with that?

You are now in charge of a team in the YFFL. What warning do you give the rest of the league about your future impact?

I warn the league to watch out for a team that is invested in winning and trash talk. My team would look to stay competitive both in wins and losses and in scoring points by jabbing the rest of the owners/managers.