Well, I know it's only been a short time in between mailbags (14 weeks) but I'm back to answer your emails from the entire season! So let's get to answering some of these...
Q: What do you make of the Thugs 3-0 start? Are they playoff bound or what!!!! Have you made any Halloween plans yet?
San Diego, CA
A: Ummm Yeah, about that 3-0 start. I'd say their season is basically over. They might win one more game but I don't foresee anymore wins that that. Watch out for that Lee Evans kid though.
Q: What do you think of the YFFL Poll Question this week?
A: At first I figured it was a stab at me because I'm the only guy on that list without a serious girlfriend. First I have to endure a painful 9-17 season and now I log on to yffl.com to find this as the poll question. Excellent. Now I have somewhat of an idea of what if feels like to be Dugas. Anyway, it's nice to see Dugas as the overwhelming choice even if the same person voted 12 times for Steve. My seven votes are probably legitimate but that's alright. Let's get to what's was wrong about this. First of all, the questions should have been worded differently. "Which YFFL Owner will be the last to get engaged?" makes the winner sound like a loser who has way too much time to write columns for YFFL.com. Instead, it should have been 'Which YFFL Owner will be the last 'player'? Now, just by changing those few words this becomes a poll I want to win. But honestly, besides Jon and Jon Jr, (Kev Sansone) are any of you anxious to get married? Chris, you're pushing 30 and still wearing the adidas wristbands. Do you think your future wife will let you out of the house wearing wristbands? I didn't think so.
Secondly, I play FANTASY football for a reason. It's a fantasy, I own Clinton Portis in my fantasy world! That's awesome! I don't want to log on to my fantasy website and be reminded that I trail Steve 13 votes to 7 in who will be the last to be engaged. That's rain on my fantasy parade. In fact, I don't want to be reminded of anything from the outside world, including women. Until Kate Barker breaks the Fantasy Sports gender barrier, there should be no reference to any woman on yffl.com (unless it's involves Asleigh Hochman, Michelle Gredler or Lauren Garneau of course). And for the record, I'm hoping never to get engaged. That's right, I hope to elope. Vegas baby, Vegas!
Q: What do you make of the heated on-going banter between Aceto and Mike in the forum?
A: It certainly is entertaining but they have lost sight of the real enemy. Actually, it reminds me of the third season of "24" in which the evil Salazar brothers Hector (Mike) and Ramon (Anthony) start fighting with one another instead of teaming up against their nemesis Jack Bauer (Steve). Ultimately, Ramon shoots Hector in the back and Bauer escapes. Let's hope the long-time friends make amends and focus their forum attention back on Steve for the comical value of course.
Which one of these three RBs would you most like to have? Stephen Jackson, Julius Jones, Kevin Jones or Willis McGahee?
A: See, now that is a great yffl.com poll question. Let's answer in analogy form by comparing them to types of hot women. Kevin Jones is basically the hot girl who everyone wanted in high school then goes away to college and comes back 15 pounds heavier at Thanksgiving break and suddenly no one wants her anymore. She still thinks she is hot and on certain days looks good but she'll never be as hot as she once was. Willis McGahee would be the girl that's smokin' hot. She asks you to be her girlfriend right before she goes away to Study in Africa for 18 months. You dyin' to bang her but you're not willing to wait 18 months for her to come back. Well, she comes back 18 months later she is still smokin' hot and you're kicking yourself for not accepting her offer. Instead, you're eating Slim Jim's sitting in front of a computer waiting for Charles Rogers to make it through a full season on your 5-8 fantasy football team. Then you got Stephen Jackson. He's basically you typical girl-next-door. You don't realize she's amazing until you passed her over for that smokin' hot girl who comes back from college with the "Freshman 15". Well, the girl-next-door comes back from college and she's still looking great. You know she's going to be lookin' great for the next 25 years, so you've already won. I'd be happy with the "Girl next door", Stephen Jackson himself. But, then there's the guilty pleasure Julius Jones. It's your friend's little sister who you know is going to be absolutely gorgeous. You've only seen glimpses of her but she is already Pantheon material. The secret's not quite out yet but people are starting to talk. You might take a little heat from your friend for asking her out but it will all be worth it when she reaches her potential.
With these four scenarios in mind, my choice would be Mr. "Guilty Pleasure" Julius Jones.
Q: What Super Bowl match-ups are you most looking forward to?
A: There are some potential intriguing Super Bowl match-ups. First of course would be the Merry Men vs. Chickens. The two biggest egos in fantasy sports go head-to-head. These two owners can't stand each other and the war of words leading up to this game would raise the bar on the unintentional comedy scale to a whole new level. What's the Over/Under on Michelle Gredler references if these teams meet in the Super Bowl? The next mactch-up I'd cancel a round of frolf for is the White Guys vs. Merry Men. Two down and out owners each desperately hoping not to be the last YFFL Owner to win the Championship. Honestly, would you rather be the last owner to get married or the last owner to win a YFFL Super Bowl? You may not be married to the same woman in 50 years but at least you'll be in the YFFL! With that in mind, I have to favor getting a YFFL Championship first. It will be great to see these two winless owners battle it out. In light of recent events in the forum, I'd like to see the Buddies take on White Guys. It would be the ultimate "Rights of passage" for Aceto to join the YFFL Pantheon wouldn't it? Having to go through both of Mike's teams would be like going through both Shredder and Krang on your way to beating Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the ol' Sega Genesis.