NEWS

Fact or Fiction: Playoffs Edition

Ryan Gibbons & Kurt Willette, Middle Management


December 07, 2014


The playoffs are here and GMs Ryan Gibbons and Kurt Willette are trying to separate fact from fiction as we head toward Super Bowl XXII. Are the Boys the worst playoff team in history? Will a Wild Card win it all? And what does Al Gore have to do with all this?

YouTube server Google technicians are preparing the YouTube servers for a potential Chickens three-peat

The Dragons are more like the 2001 Seattle Mariners (tied for most regular season wins with 116, lost in ALCS) than the 1998 Yankees (114 wins, won World Series).

Kurt: FACT. This team is very good but not stacked enough to be immune from tough match-ups. In fact, next week the Packers face a stingy Bills defense which could spell trouble for Aaron Rogers and the Dragons. Without giving Nick the win this week, Jon would have to be nervous facing the Chickens and the Drew Brees / Jimmy Graham combo going against a horrible Bears secondary in Week 15. This has to make the rest of the YFFL extremely uneasy. Can you imagine another year of Nick touting his GM skills? I'd rather hear Al Gore tell me about how he invented the internet or revisit Patrick Ewing's economic theory during the 1998 lockout where he explained that "sure, NBA players make a lot of money, but that they also spend a lot of money too, so it makes sense".

Gibbs: FICTION. Rodgers is a destroyer of worlds. Dragons win 88-4.

The Boys are the worst playoff team in YFFL history.

Kurt: FICTION. Without providing any evidence to back up my answer (I assume Gibbs will) I would wage dollars to donuts that there have been lower scoring teams in the playoffs. Relatively speaking though, they have to be up there in terms of points scored in a season relative to the other teams in the league. Chris D was rumored to be in bible study this week asking for prayer requests for his team to overcome the Chickens. Everyone wants to be part of a miracle...people helping people...it's powerful stuff.

Gibbs: FACT. Facts aren't my ally here though, performance is. The best player on the boys is Lamar Miller...maybe? This team sucks.

Antonio Gates Charlotte: I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you don't work hard enough between the twenties.
[Gates gets angry]
Charlotte: And he says that you were on fumes coming into this season. And that you shouldn't even be the starter... Ladarius Green is way better.
Gates: LISTEN, KID! I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at Kent State. I'm out there busting my buns every day. Tell your old man to drag Hali and Miller up and down the field for 60 minutes.

With the Buddies and both of Steve's teams out of the playoffs, we won't hear from Mike Kinsman until next season.

Kurt: FACT. Unless the Chickens pull off an improbable three-peat, in which case we can expect Mike to gloat and usurp the credit for Nick's championship. Otherwise, I anticipate Mike taking on the role of a sleeping bear; he'll wait until next year's draft to come out of hibernation and drop a massive dump on Steve and the rest of the league. The only problem for Mike is that his team is about to fall apart fast. Manning can't keep up this pace, can he?

Gibbs: FACT. He probably needs a half dozen "pill bleus" to rise to the occasion after seeing the Buddies denuded like that.

A Wild Card team will win the Super Bowl.

Kurt: FACT. I guess I have to go with fact since I anticipate the Chickens to knock off the Dragons and I think the Thugs are too thin to pull it off this year.

Gibbs: FACT. Big Boys 2014.

Steve doesn't understand the definition of "out of nowhere".

Kurt: FACT. Steve damaged his credibility with his Gates nomination, which is truly impressive after most experts had estimated his credibility at 0 given his wide receiver “cold fusion” theory, but Steve dug deep and was able to find a minuscule amount left only to then promptly throw it away like "Square Head" Olson's odds of being a non-felon.

Gibbs: FACT. Steve blew a decade of good will with that Gates business.

Aceto is the most underrated owner in the YFFL.

Kurt: FACT. Is water wet? Will the sun rise tomorrow? Will Bri eventually end up losing his job after punching a cantankerous elderly man in the mouth?

Gibbs: FACT. Fact fact fact fact FACT. Mr. YFFL.