It's that time of year again when YFFL fans from all-across the country flood my mailbox with questions for yours truly.
How far will Eli Manning fall in the draft?
-Chris D. Scottsdale, AZ
He'll fall until the first intelligent owner comes along, which in this case won't be until mid-first round. Owners are running-back crazy these days and will gamble on a rookie back-up RB over a franchise QB. Ask Brian Davidson how William Green or Curtis Enis worked out for him. Ask me how happy I am with Justin Fargas or Lawrence Phillips. Ask Jon how the SnapDragons have faired since they drafted Peyton Manning. Ask Kevin if the Rich Gannon trade worked out for him. The bottom line is that if you plan on winning the Super Bowl, you'll need a QB who can put up points. Ahman Green got me to the playoffs last year but Jeff Garcia won every game in the playoffs and the Super Bowl for me by scoring 74 points in the postseason.
Will we be hearing about how the Thugs won the Super Bowl all year long?
-John A. Yarmouth, ME
Who will win the AFC West?
-Steve D. Yarmouth, ME
The Eaters will not only win the AFC West but they will represent the AFC in Super Bowl XII. They've got depth, balance and this year's YFFL MVP in Matt Hasselbeck.
What security measures has the YFFL taken to prevent terrorist attacks?
Osama B. Afghanistan
Now that RoboCop (David Boston) is out for the season, he has been appointed head of YFFL security by the Commissioner.
Assuming Drew Bledsoe gets cut, will anyone draft him?
-Craig F. Dayton, Ohio
If would only be fitting that Bledsoe suit up for the Eaters, the only AFC West team he hasn't played for in his disappointing career. But given the demand of starting QBs, one lucky YFFL team will need the services of Drew Bledsoe.
What can we expect in the YFFL in 2005?
-Joey, Dearborn, WA
Six different owners make the playoffs. Five owners have already guaranteed to me that they're going to the Super Bowl. Four Chickens make the Pro Bowl. Three hall of fame RBs (Smith, Martin and George) won't be in starting lineups by years end. Two players have six TD games (Culpepper and Hasselbeck) and one team won't field a starting QB on opening day (Mallards).
Paramount Pictures is currently reading a script about the YFFL and considering it for a feature film. What would the cast possibly look like?
-Nate D. Washington D.C.
- Jon Kinsman Jeff Goldblum
- Mike Kinsman Vince Vaughn
- Steve Dugas Keifer Sutherland... Steve only wishes...Ian Ziering
- Brian Davidson Vin Diesel Haha just kidding! Mark Wahlberg
- Anthony Aceto Emilio Estevez
- Kevin Sansone Frankie Muniz
- Chris Davidson Chris Tucker (Token Black Guy)
- Bobby Sansone Richard Grieco