Chickens GM Nick Wood kicks off the season with his first Mock Draft!
#1 - Thugs
I hear that guy's arms has their own Congressman!
WR Mike Evans (TB) - The Thugs would consider taking Sammy Watkins here, but they've already got one Buffalo WR in Mike Williams, so avoiding a reliance upon a terrible team's passing game is smart. Bobby can't be too thrilled about no outright #1 in this year's draft, so I could see him trying to trade away this pick. However, takers may be tough to come by as the asking price is certainly more than most want to pay.
#2 - Beans
WR Sammy Watkins (BUF) - Watkins has loads of talent despite being on a horrible team. I thought of Ebron at first, but there's no way he could take a TE this early and bring on the Chris Davidson treatment.
#3 - Poop
RB Toby Gerhart (JAX) - Bri is looking to win now with Brady's window coming close to an end, so having a sure-fire starter is something he's gonna target. The hype around Jacksonville is that they're going to run, run, and run some more with Gerhart as the man.
#4 - Boys
WR Brandin Cooks (NO) - Chris needs WR depth and Cooks provides that and more. Knowing Chris, he'll strongly consider taking Eric Ebron here as he loves his TEs early in the draft and especially knowing he picks right in front of Steve and the Mallards.
#5 - Mallards
QB Johnny Manziel (CLE) - Steve is begging for the media circus that will follow his team/player, so Johnny Football goes to the Mallards. Can he handle the pressure and live up to the hype or is he taking too big of a gamble with a team ready to win now? Plus, will this create locker room tension considering Matt Ryan is the polar opposite of Manziel?
Christ, look at this f'n guy... (thanks TMZ)
#6 - Refugees
WR Jordan Matthews (PHI) - Steve's desire to jump into the media frenzy has allowed Aceto to benefit considerably as he lands the much needed stud WR he's been looking for. Expect big numbers from him at the get-go in Chip Kelly's offense.
#7 - Llamas
RB Bishop Sankey (TEN) - A lack of RB depth with the Llamas? Not anymore. Bell, Murray, and Sankey makes a great young RB corps. The thought of Ebron should be mentioned considering Fleener's yet to emerge, but Sankey is too tough to overlook.
#8 - Eaters
WR Odell Beckham Jr. (NYG) - This is Kurt's perfect recipe; he needs WR depth and he gets it from a guy on his favorite team. Every "expert" out there is calling for Eli to have a turnaround season, and Beckham should benefit. If Beckham's hamstring becomes a worry, Kelvin Benjamin should fit in at this draft spot nicely.
#9 - Mallards
TE Eric Ebron (DET) - He needs RB depth with Steven Jackson's injury concerns, but do you really think Steve can pass up on Ebron if he falls this far? RBs are a dime a dozen, right?
#10 - Brothers
WR Cody Latimar (DEN) - The guy is talented and landed in a solid scenario despite the competition around him in Denver.
#11 - Merry Men
RB Carlos Hyde (SF) - He needs RB depth and he gets it. Freeman is also a possibility.
"Hey Eric, did you know Nick mentioned your name five times in Mock Draft 1.0?"
#12 - White Guys
TE Ladarius Green (SD) - Unless Tony Gonzalez comes out of retirement yet again, Tony Aceto's gotta go TE here and take a guy with potential to play/score every week. Could he somehow trade up to get Ebron in front of Steve? It's something to keep an eye on as Green still has Gates in front of him when it gets close to the end zone.
#13 - Eaters
RB Devonta Freeman (ATL) - The best player available, Freeman has potential for impact early as S-Jax is an injury waiting to happen. Does Kurty sting Steve two picks in a row?!?!!? The Merry Men need Freeman badly.
#14 - Merry Men
WR Davante Adams (GB) - Taking the best player available while filling a need? Solid.
#15 - Llamas
QB Teddy Bridgewater (MIN) - Whether or not Bridgewater manages to win the starting job before the preseason is over, the Llamas are not confident in Tannehill long term.
#16 - Chickens
QB Blake Bortles (JAX) - The Chickens address one of their needs at the end of the first - a backup to Drew Brees.