It's been a long YFFL offseason for Becky Dugas.
"Becky," Steve calls out, "have you seen the May issue of Parenting magazine?"
"It's next to the toilet. You were in there for 45 minutes reading it cover to cover this morning, remember?" Becky replies.Stay-At-Home Steve will seek a higher calling in 2012
"You know what red meat does to me! Besides, it was a really good issue!" Steve fires back. "And they had a really good article on stay-at-home dads. I'm beginning to think this might be my calling in life."
Becky glances up from a game of Words with Friends. "Uh huh." Steve rushes into the room and continues on.
"There's this one dad in Indiana, he does yoga twice a day during morning and afternoon naps and prunes all his shrubs with his son in the Baby Bjorn! How awesome is that? That could be me!"
Becky doesn't even glance up from her iPhone. "He's probably gay. You need to stop reading that crap. I can't believe I'm asking this, but where are all your fantasy football magazines? You used to keep a secret stash under the mattress for your 'alone' time but they're not there anymore."
"The pages got too sticky so I threw them out. Besides, fantasy sports are so pedestrian. I can't believe I let that consume my life for so many years. I'm taking a break from the YFFL. You can take over my teams. Becky, I want to be a stay-at-home dad."
"Absolutely not," Becky replies.
"This isn't fair. I'm heading to Natural Woman. They're having a semi-annual sale," Steve says as he storms out of the house fighting back tears.
Becky watches Steve pull out of the driveway and immediately opens her laptop and heads to yffl.com. She knows she has to manage the Merry Men roster until Steve comes to his senses. She starts to analyze the roster in her head:
Alright, I am all set at QB with Stafford, Locker and Matt Moore. I can probably use Locker as a trade chip since Moore will probably win the Miami QB battle. Man, I really hate how Shanahan toys with his RBs. Helu is clearly their most talented RB so just give him 20 carries a game already! Ray Rice. My husband thinks way too much about you in his dreams but I'll put that behind me for now if you can carry the team for one more year. I'll definitely need to target a RB in the draft – I can't believe I might have to draft for Steve. God damn Parenting magazine. Let's see what Rotoworld says about Jeremy Maclin. What? Adam Levitan is full of shit. Has he ever been right about anything? How is he still employed by Rotoworld? Maclin will have a huge year. Pair him with Demaryius Thomas and Sidney Rice and I'll coast to the division championship again.
Matthew Stafford, Ray Rice, Roy Helu, Jeremy Maclin, Demaryius Thomas, Aaron Hernendez, Stephen Gostkowski, Brandon Pettigrew
Becky inherits a great roster. The cuts are pretty clear and there are no immediate needs. She'll do a great job until Steve gets back on the horse. Jake Locker could make for a lucrative draft day trade as Stafford is entrenched as the franchise QB. Steve has hinted he will probably take a couple of years off from work to stay home with Brynn but that will be to his advantage as he'll have extra time to focus on fantasy football during naptime. With a loaded and balanced roster, ample time ahead to focus on the YFFL, and a new outlook on life thanks to Parenting magazine, Steve may have found the magic formula to dominate the league once again. The YFFL wishes Steve the best of luck in his pursuit of his calling in life.
9-4; 626 points; 1st AFC West