In one of my all-time favorite episodes of The Hills, Lauren heads to Italy for a week leaving the other Hills' girls to fend for themselves. Meanwhile, Audrina goes to lunch with a co-worker to pass the time until LC's return.
Audrina begins talking about who's dating who, who's talking behind who's back, Spencer and Heidi, and so on and so on. The co-worker, clearly not interested in the high school level drama, eventually changes the conversation. She brings up the slightly more intellectual subject of how scientists in Europe are trying to re-create the Big Bang Theory by smashing protons at velocities only a fraction less then the speed of light. With the conversation clearly way over her head, a completely and utterly confused Audrina pauses for a second and says, "Isn't it crazy that all this is happening while Lauren is gone?"
Audrina's "hypothetical" question got me thinking about what the rest of us are going to do to fill the void while our version of LC, Steve, leaves our version of the Hills, the YFFL, for his European honeymoon.
Here are some potential YFFL plotlines to watch out for:
[Que the Hills theme song "Unwritten"]"Johnny Knox? Of course, Mr. Aceto. But won't Bobby... Oh, of course, Mr. Aceto."
Scene - Aceto and co-worker grabbing lunch at a Wall St Deli
Aceto: So Bobby said in his Power Rankings this week that he is mad at me because I drafted Hakeem Nicks and signed Johnny Knox.
Co-worker: Oh yeah?
Aceto: This is just what I need, Bobby mad at me, not talking to me. Do you think I should send him a text?
Co-worker: That sounds like a good idea.
Aceto: Should I put a smiley face at the end or do you think that is too much?
Co-worker: So... did you hear that Obama may still vote for Health Care reform bill even if there is no public option?
Aceto: [Pauses] Isn't it crazy that all this is happening while Steve is gone?
Scene - Brian in Wendy's drive-thru lane with co-worker
Brian: So Nick called out the Merry Men and Steve in his "Nick's Picks" forum post.
Co-worker: Nick's Picks?
Brian: He even suggested that Kurt or Bean should take over his team!
Co-worker: That sounds harsh.
Brian: So I sent Kurt and Bean both a Facebook message to see if they'd be interested and they both said "yes"!
Co-worker: What if Steve's finds out?
Brian: He won't. He's not on Facebook, silly. And I don't think Becky knows my password.
Co-worker: So, did you hear Obama is flying to Denmark to make a personal pitch for Chicago to win the 2016 Olympic bid?
Brian: [Pauses] Isn't it crazy that all this is happening while Steve is gone?Don't worry Jon, only Connecticut will know the truth this week...and occasionally North Carolina?
Scene - Jon and Megan car pooling home from work
Megan: So, do you want to talk about it?
Jon: No, I don't want to talk about it. I mean, it's plastered right on the front page of YFFL.com! It says "Flame Out".
Megan: Didn't you put that up yourself though?
Jon: That's beside the point! Do you know how many hits that website gets?
Jon: Sometimes 10 if Steve's tricks Becky into reading the recaps. I'm the laughing stock of the entire YFFL.
Megan: So, did you hear Roman Polanski is going to fight his extradition order from the U.S.?
Jon: [Pauses] Isn't it crazy that all this is happening while Steve is gone?
Scene - Chris talking to one of his players on the soccer team he coaches
Chris: So I lose Michael Jenkins to a bye this week. That's going to complicate things for the Big Boys.
Kid: Wait, what's your team name? Big Boys?
Chris: Of course I could start Justin Gage..."I just expected more out of Limas Sweed this year, you know? What? The bone is sticking out? Okay, wait here. I'll go get some ice."
Kid: That would be cool. Then you could call him "Justin Case". Haha Get It?
Chris: Dude, are you being serious right now?
Kid: You're the one that said your team name is the Big Boys.
Chris: You're no help at all.
Kid: So, did you hear the city of Quincy is offering free flu clinics in hopes of controlling the spread of the H1N1 virus?
Chris: [Pauses] Isn't it crazy that all this is happening while Steve is gone?
Scene - Kevin calls home to get fantasy advice from his Dad but he's not home and Alexa answers the phone
Kevin: What do you mean Dad's not home!?!? It's like three hours until ESPN Sunday Countdown comes on and I can't decide what kicker to start!
Alexa: Um, I don't know where he is.
Kevin: Just great. This is just fantastic.
Alexa: So, I was watching The Hills last night and Doug asked Stephanie out to dinner while Lauren was away in Europe! Can you believe that?
Kevin: [Pauses] Isn't it crazy that all this is happening while Steve is gone?
Alexa: Wait, don't you mean Lauren?