Steve Dugas, You are now on the The Sea Dog Old Gollywobbler Brown Ale Hot Seat...

Kevin: Is Shaun Alexander the missing triplet in the Barber family?

Steve: He sure looks like one doesn't he? They even all have a gap in their teeth. The only reason I suspect he might not be is that Shaun Alexander has an idea of where the end zone is.

Kevin: In 1999 the Merry Men drafted a retired John Elway in the expansion draft to be a bench presence. My question is: Are you retarded?

Steve: Well, after 11 rounds picking through the scrap heap of players that we were given to me to choose from I knew I could afford to pick him up for a few weeks until the real draft, but the answer would be no, I am not retarded.

Is this the next WR named Brandon for the Mallards?

Kevin: The Mallards currently have three Wide Receivers named "Brandon" on their roster. Coincidence or careful planning?

Steve: I noticed it as well, and it's definitely a coincidence. Hopefully one of them can be contributor at some point this season.

Kevin: Your Yahoo! fantasy teams all seem to have names with the letter "S" (Stamford Spinners, Sergeant St. Sinners) while your YFFL teams utilize the letter "M" (Mallards, Merry men). Is this a subliminal hint that you enjoy S&M?

Steve: I think the "M" for the YFFL teams comes from my tendency to date girls whose name began with an "M". As for the Yahoo! teams, they are named for friends of mine. The Sargent St. Sinners is for my friend Mike Erickson who lives on Sargent Street in Melrose, Massachusetts and is a bit of a sinner. The Stamford Spinners is for Nick Wood who once went to the Old Port with Bob and I and spent the whole night screaming, "SHOTS!!" for the shots of Jack Daniels we were doing and "SPINNER!" for any attractive girl that would walk by (as in she was one to make you spin around to get another look).

Kevin: Have you informed Jerramy Stevens that he spells his name wrong?

Steve: I don’t think I can answer that question without it coming off the wrong way or offending someone.

Is sliced bread getting stale?

Kevin: Better football team: Mallards or PATHS Junior Varsity?

Steve: The Mallards are a better team then people give them credit for. Of course, if I could do it all over again I would do a few things different. The Mallards have been plagued with injuries to the quarterback and coaches with big egos getting n the way of their running backs (i.e. Mike Martz). If Roethlisberger could stay on his feet and guys like Branch, McGahee, and Jackson play the way they can, then this team could get hot and win 7 or 8 games. Some things i could have done differently would be to not draft McGahee when I did (#1 overall) knowing that he would miss a whole season. I also should have taken Eli Manning over Jackson to get a good QB sooner. It was something I debated over for a long time. I also should have taken Cutler with my pick this year. I’m beginning to think Big Ben will not be anything in this league other than a back-up who will be handy during a Bye week. As for the PATHS team, sure they have all-time greats like the Dorney brothers, Ross McPherson, and Jason Berry, but I like to think that the Mallards as they are could beat them on any given Sunday.

Kevin: If Dallas Clark ends up playing for the Cowboys someday, would that be the coolest thing since sliced bread?

Steve: It would be right up there with the Texas Longhorns being Quarterbacked by Colt McCoy this season.

Bob Sansone (Sr.) gets set to take on his biggest challenge since the birth of Alexa

Kevin: Which Merry Man would you want to have your back in a strip club fight? (Not including Daunte Culpepper who is distracted by his lap dance)

Steve: Probably Rudi Johnson who is built like a bowling ball or Vernon Davis because the guy is an absolute monster.

Kevin: Which name is worse to have growing up: Deuce, Willie, or Rudi?

Steve: Got to go with Deuce.

Kevin: If Bob Sansone (Sr.) took over the Mallards, how long would it take them to win a Super Bowl title?

Steve: It wouldnt take long. The team has got lots of talent, they just underachieve for the sole reason that the league enjoys ripping on me for having such a bad run of luck with them. Given that Michael Turner will be starting somewhere next year, the team is probably just a player away from being a threat for a title. I think they are in better shape than the Merry Men when it comes down to it.

Steve Dugas, you are off The Sea Dog Old Gollywobbler Brown Ale Hot Seat.